poppings!

'you'll sail through'- says a small thing with no eyes. have you ever felt this way? my mice always speak to me like that. they have no eyes when they pretend to be wise.

so much for tonight. listen to the radio when the mice are not around. when they are around, listen to them.

spasms

wait till it hits you
wait till it fades away..

faraway look

do i see your face everyday?
do you have a face?
do i have many faces or one?
did you look for me in the crowd?

did i search for you in my closet?
did you tell me you lived far far away?
did i give you a yellow stone?
did you dance to my song?
did i tie your shoelace?
did you make me stay with you?
did i drop some coffee on your shirt?
did you sing to me when it was dark?
did i laugh at you until you grew red?

let me be lonely

Dear you.

forgive my audacity.
let me sink into you first.

do you not hear me?
are you so numb that
you lost count of
how many of my hands
i want you to hold.

let me take your voice away.
let me take your power away
and turn them into bad dreams.

just let me go
if you think we don't think well
we don't love well

laugh until the dark well leaps up to you.
you don't know i have left you.
for no one knows
and no one will know.
how my dark water breathes.

forgive my audacity, now.
i'm too tired.
let me sleep.

start again

if you think you've figured me out alright.
go back and start again.
i might have lost myself in between..
don't claw me so many times.
i'll flow away blissfully.

loneliness or the loss of it

I was tired of the same old days.

Watching them over and over.

Through the same myopic lens.

So you waited at my door.

And I came out, knowing I would run into you.

Unlike the times before, it was quiet.

Quiet. Holy. Charming.

I rested my eyes on you.

And the way we saw one and read the other was like justice written in poetic verses.

I looked back and found nothing.

I had escaped you.

And I had burnt you.

I left you with a little more than nothing.

You sent me to hell.

Now you stood before me with calmness in your eyes.

My face lost its tightness.

Inspite of me, I smiled

You, floating in your tide of highs.

I know you caught me prying.

Found me spot on.

But we were being watched

From all the corners

Every window looked on..

And the walls stared with coldness and pity.

So I shut all of it up. And changed gears

We walked through the bus stop

You walked beside me, your head bowed down.

Comfortable and faceless.

I walked back home.

You watched me enter.

And walked away.

Centuries have passed..

Centuries have passed
since I let in any light
I was happy and ignored the darkness
until it rubbed on me
and I let it go.



A star fell into my lap.
Dusty and scarred....
I wiped it and soothed the wounds..
until there was a faint shimmer.
Thereafter it wrote my story...
For centuries to come...

two years later

its been a while. seasons have passed. lazy afternoons with careless mindless laughter and long nights with ambitious attempts at writing dark pieces are things of the past. i'm not growing any taller. i wish my windows were built a little more towards the left. i wouldn't mind cornered windows as long as light flooded in at the oddest intervals. it would make me feel both disrupted and enchanted at the same time.